Blindness

He saw her but she didn't see him. He watched as she threw her head back laughing and smiling. He wondered when and how he would ever get close enough to the beautiful smile that she possessed. They were close and still a world away. Her eyes met his but all she could see was the wall behind him. She didn't see him or how his face lit up when she walked by, all she could see was an empty space of white, nothing else just that.

He would watch as her eyes shifted from every corner of the room, but her eyes seemed to never make its way to his corner. The corner of wanting to be seen by her. She would glide past him not knowing that someone loved her deeply.

As his eyes adored her and his heart melted with her every presence, he would also rule out the fact that someone too was watching him. Loving him, adoring his character and wanting nothing more than to tell him how she felt. But you see, she can't tell him. Because she knows that he would never love her like he loves her.

She watched him as he looked past her, his eyes whispering of love. Seconds before she could confirm that he was looking at her, she would turn around and see that the man she loved was never looking at her. Or maybe he was. Maybe he saw her but not in the way she wanted to be seen. When he looked at her he would smile but never the smile that craved her. When she turned, she saw. She saw that the girl his heart melted for was ignorantly living without noticing. She envied her presence. Her grace, her elegance. And she thought to herself "What am I missing?" She felt the loneliness dwell inside, and she knew that she would never be good enough. Good enough to love, good enough to be a priority.


But in the end when he would finally confess his love and receive the words he wished he didn't hear, he would run to her and tell her how he felt. Maybe he would cry and hug her. And she would tell him that everything will be okay in the end. But he was too late. Before he could grab her by the shoulder she had already turned her back around. Now he has seen her, but now is the end. And endings don't always have happily ever afters. This is a tragedy of blindness and unrequited love. Love that will never be and can never be.

The end 

Please

I told you that the term "us" is a bad idea and you responded asking me why. When I told you the reason you were quick to shake it off like you didn't want to hear it. And when I said that the thought of us being together in one place, at one time is a bad idea  was just a thought you said "yeah" like you knew that I didn't mean it. Because I didn't. Well in some ways I did. You proved to me tonight that you want me in your life. You didn't say anything like "okay then lets not see each other". Instead you told me and reassured me that the decision is mine. To be honest I wanted you to say something like "I want to see you, to be with you, and to spend time with you". I desperately want and need to hear that. But what can I say? We won't always get what we want. So let me put this straight...I think that maybe we should just stop. Just stop fooling each other. We have done nothing but play games and quite frankly I am so tired of guessing what will happen next.  Let's just stop pretending. Please just let me go, as much as you need me...I can't stay beside you forever. I can't run back to you every time something goes wrong. Please let go of me so that we can both move forward with our life. So that in the future if we ever see each other we can look back and laugh. As I'm writing this I am wondering if maybe my idea of us not working out is a bad idea. What if destiny wants us together? What if I regret what I am about to do next? My life has so many what ifs and regrets, please help me see that what I want to do and say is the right thing. Please....

Where are you Christmas?

Merry Christmas!!! I know this will make me sound like the Grinch, but Christmas this year feels like any other day. I know it's suppose to feel joyful, and full of love, and life; but it feels like the opposite. Throughout the years the spirit of Christmas has slowly began to disappear. I mean people post about their gifts instead f posting about the love and the blessings. They can do as they please but I think many have forgotten about the importance of the holiday. Its about rekindling and enjoying the presence of loved ones. Christmas has turned into a "fill the tree with gifts", look around you, I speak true words. You go to the mall and people are fighting over the last product. Facebook has turned into a "brag about my gift and the gifts I will give" site. Humans are so complex and have been desensitized to the true meaning of Christmas. Maybe that's why the Grinch hated Christmas, because in the movie people compete..like the scene when Cindy Lou's mom is putting lights up. If you don't know what I'm talking about, see for yourself. And listen carefully for the bragging tone. It will all make sense. Christmas where have you wandered off to?

I told you so!

"He's not calling me, why hasn't he called?" "He doesn't like me anymore." I told you so. Didn't I tell you? You can't say I didn't because I did. You knew it was coming, you knew from the very start. When he walked in you knew. Silly child, you fell for it again. I sent you warnings but you didn't listen. You let that vessel of yours beat and trick you into liking someone who will never like you as much. I on the other hand had pity on you and wanted to help you. You're a fool my dear child. Naive and foolish. You're an intelligent being, but you don't listen. Now you are hurt and blaming yourself for making a mistake. It's a shame, you should feel embarrassed for not listening to me, I am after all the only organ that has an IQ. Silly foolish child. You give in to easily. You think with your heart too much, you let it control every part of you. It even beats me sometimes. It's not your fault to think he was the one. You are right he could have been the one, the one for someone else. It is his fault for impressing you with his suave words and great looks. You're only human my love. Humans make mistakes. But to be a fool should not be one, a fool gets no where. You must be smarter, examine all aspects of a person before giving in. Attachment is not a very smart thing to do. Never attach yourself  to someone who is not willing to have that same attachment towards you. I pity you my dear. I pity you so very much.
  You don't know any better you are a child...according to your heart anyways. I feel sorry for you because he will never know how amazing and talented you are. He will not know how lovely you look when you wake up in the light of day, or how you laugh at the silliest things. How generous and loving you are, he will not know that you send more time worrying about others than worrying about yourself. He's a loser for not wanting to know you. Let him miss out on the person that everyone adores. The sweet child whom everyone looks up to. The entrepreneur, the risk taker. The intelligent yet ignorant child who thinks too much with her heart and forgets she has a brain as smart as I. He will miss the smile and the complications that you possess. It's okay let him miss out on everything. One day you will find the one; not the for someone else. You will find the one for you, the person who will make you smile and laugh and live as if there is no tomorrow. Take it slow, and enjoy your life. For now you have the ability to live freely, and you can like as many people your heart desires. Just remember to protect your heart from them. I will be here to guide you and tell you, but do us both a favor and listen the next time this happens. It makes my job a whole lot easier.

The Mystery of Love

There's a fault in hoping that someone will love you as much as you love them. Why? Because love cannot be defined nor can it be surpassed. What is love? No one knows. It is the feeling of want and desire, to hold a person close enough that they can hear the beating of your fragile heart. There is a fault in liking someone who does not feel the same way about you. You see love is a strange thing, as it is strange it is also the best feeling a person will ever experience in their lifetime. Everyone has had that feeling once, or more than once..heck I have had that feeling several of times. It's great isn't it? It's powerful and gives you motivation and inspires you to be a better version of yourself to impress that significant person whom your heart desires. It's wrong. It's a mistake to feel that way. Unless of course that person feels exactly the same way for you. But I doubt it. I doubt that person longs for your company as much as you yearn theirs. Love is a complicated with its games and trickery. Too many people have fallen for the idea that they will find the "one". I have fallen for that idea too. It's human nature to believe in it. But it's not right, because there is no right, in our lives we will want more and never settle for less. One person will always get hurt because they fell for the devious tricks of love. A heart has no control for who it falls madly in love for, but you,you have the power the free will to correct that. Don't let yourself get tangled up  with the idealistic views of love. Let it happen don't rush it,don't hope too much, and most importantly don't expect more from that person. He or she will never love you as  much as you want them to, I may be wrong when I say this because I have never loved a person who I am willing to give everything to. But I don't need experience to know what I have just told you. Love has always been and will continue to be a mystery.